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Social media has a way of connecting us with people that we, as individuals, are only vaguely interested in. Whether it is someone that you went to middle school with or your third cousin, you find yourself staring at their posts and photos, giving you a glimpse into their lives. Similarly, many may find themselves friends with an ex-spouse on social media. Whether it is because of the amicable nature, in which the relationship ended or out of necessity to have that vehicle as a means of communication, you may find yourself peering into her new life. There are biological reasons hypothesized for jealousy based on gender and countless years of scientific and psychological research. Even knowing this, we, as human beings still can feel the jealousy of seeing what a former love is up to.

3 Simple Tips for Dealing With Your Partner's Ex -

After that, challenge yourself to stop looking. Unplug from your ex and all that is going on in his life. I know that sometimes with kids it can be challenging when they come home and share with you all the latest and greatest in Dad's life, but you can do it. It's perfectly wonderful not to know! And then let your kids know that you love to hear about their lives, but you don't want to know all the details of their Dad's anymore.

Just these two things will support you to begin to move through to the peace that comes from accepting that your life is changing, the people in your life are moving on, and sometimes whether we want to or not, we are changing and moving on, too. I let them go freely during the week if they want to see their father, but any time I ask to spend time with them during the weekend, he makes other plans for them. If a holiday falls on a Friday or Monday, he takes them out of town for the extended weekend.

I am constantly giving in to make things easier for him, but no one seems to appreciate it.

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What do I do? I'm tired of losing any quality time I should have with my children. Gloria answers : I really don't mean to sound harsh, so please take this in the spirit of love and empowerment. My suggestion would be to stop complaining about it all and begin to do something about it.

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So often we as women feel so helpless and powerless when there are many things that we can do. You can find a good attorney who will look out for the best interests of your children. You can make some telephone calls to follow up on the back child support. You can lay down some ground rules beforehand about when the children will be with you and learn to say no if the two of you aren't working cooperatively together. You have the power to do this! It is much easier to play the victim, complain to everyone who will listen, and justify how you are feeling with so many others feeling sorry for you than it is to deal with all of this.

But when you dig in your high heels in, roll up your lacy sleeves, and lay down some solid boundaries and hold your children and ex to them even when it's hard, the end result will be well worth all of your time, tears and effort.

Dealing with an ex husband, regardless of what kind of psyche or personality he has, can be quite challenging. Everyone needs to learn the way to manage a divorce and then the path ahead. When an ex husband is a narcissist, the challenges of dealing with a divorce and its aftermath become more challenging than . That gut-wrenching moment when you find out your ex has moved on with someone else. Whether they're seeing, sleeping with or in a full blown relationship with someone else, the pain of knowing that it's really over can be unbearable. I think part of that pain is not being able to understand how they're able to move on so quickly. May 29, † But it's not impossible. You just have to create special new boundaries, only dealing with and talking to your ex when absolutely necessary about your common interests, i.e., the children, business, work. If your ex wants to know how you're handling the breakup? Shut him or her down. If he's curious whether you're dating again?

It isn't easy, but I know that you are up to it!! Rhonda's Question : I have recently married someone who is divorced with children. His ex continues to call and write letters requesting items she left behind after the divorce, or money she feels he owes her.

He states that he doesn't respond to her request so she continually harasses us. She even left him several messages on his phone while we were on our honeymoon with harassing requests.

Any suggestions on how I should handle this so the problem can go away? Gloria's Answer : I wish I could wave a magic wand for you, Rhonda, to make this all go away, but because there are children involved that will probably never happen.

The doors of communication need to stay open in the best interest of the kiddos.

Oct 08, † With the first ex, I still relied on him for emotional support the way I did when we were dating, and seeing him with someone else made me wonder if we could still have as close a relationship.

My suggestion for you is for you to understand that this isn't your problem. This is your husband's ex-spouse and not yours. By continuing to try to fix it and make it go away, it is only going to frustrate you and create friction and resentment between you and your husband.

Accept that she is going to be who she is, that your husband is going to have to deal with her the best way that he can, and your job is to take care of yourself so you can endure, support your husband, and stay sane in the midst of it all.

5 Ways To Handle Your Hostile Ex

Amy's Question: How would you deal with an ex who is habitually late picking up the children 2 hours with no phone calls and who also asks to bring them home at least days early when it's his parenting time? I've analyzed this situation from every angle, I've gotten angry, and I've come up with lots of excuses why he feels he needs to do this week after week.

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The fact is, our children are the only ones being hurt. Do you have any advice on how to deal with this? I'm at my wits end and about to blow a gasket! Gloria's Answer: Dealing with parenting issues after a divorce is never easy. Always at the top of question list is who goes where, when, with whom, and how do you get there and back.

And when you have a parent who isn't holding up his end of the bargain, it can be even more stressful. At the same time, I do believe there are some things you can do to make this a little, or maybe even a lot, easier though. I read in your note that you are angry, yet it doesn't sound like you are doing anything productive with that anger. You're holding it in and getting frustrated. Begin by asking yourself what it is that you are really angry about. Is it the fact that he is always late?

Or is it that he is hurting the children in your opinion?

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It may be both of these or part of these, but the key here is to be as specific as you can be, so that you know what needs to be addressed. I'm going to address both of these for you. First, he's late.

really surprises. Excuse

One person can date two very different people. Comparing yourself to your ex's new partner, whether to wonder if they're better than you or to wonder if they're similar to you, will lead you down the wrong line of reasoning.

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People don't choose people based on checklists; each person will appeal to someone for a different reason. Whatever Beyonce may say, nobody's replaceable. Your ex's new significant other is not your replacement. Your relationship was unique and special and nothing can ever take away from that.

Learning more about an ex's new partner is a comparative study done to see how they are and how they look in comparison to you, according to Elite Daily. Whether you are a man or a woman, you may find yourself interested in the new man or woman in your ex-spouse's life, and that can be a good thing, especially for your divorce or custody case. Dealing With Ex Spouses. If you've been divorced, there's no getting around dealing with ex-spouses, especially if you have children. This can be a hot button issue not only for the spouses that got divorced, but also for their new partners in life. For me it's purely gravitational, this natural pull to be with my ex-wife. I believe it took us killing something 'legal and official' in order to be able to stumble upon this reincarnated version of ourselves, of our thing together. Love - or even the possibility of love - is fickle.

Your ex will never experience with this new person exactly what they did with you. You get to be the one who made rainbow cake with them or first showed them Arrested Development or whatever made your relationship special. Even if they do some of these same things with their current partner, they will never recreate your entire relationship. The memories you two have together are yours and yours alone.

Dealing with ex husband dating

If your ex moved on before you did, you might feel as if they won or wonder why you didn't find someone else first. However, how quickly you get into a relationship isn't a measure of how desirable you are. Look around at the people you know.

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It's not necessarily the most attractive or likable people who get into relationships the most easily. Your ex just happened to stumble upon someone else before you did. Does this sound familiar? If so, you need to accept that your ex will never get over being angry at you because you serve a purpose: to be the receptacle for their shame.

Develop an effective communication strategy. Hostile exes love to use electronic communication to criticize, attack, and threaten. Just seeing their name come in on an email is enough to trigger your gag reflex.

Knee-jerk reactions to respond in kind, or fire back a lengthy self-defense are understandable, but will inflame the conflict.

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You must develop a strategy to deflect the hostility and limit their access to you. If possible, wait 24 hours before writing back. Delete anything that smacks of sarcasm or anger. We all want to feel heard, but high-conflict personalities are particularly sensitive to feeling ignored or misunderstood.

Your validating, measured response is much more likely to defuse the conflict than arguing your point-of-view.

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Keep firm boundaries. If you were the Pleaser during your marriage, you must learn to assert yourself effectively.

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Nevertheless, this is my weekend with them so please drop them off at the designated time and place. Keep kids out of the middle. Raising children with a hostile ex is one of the most difficult byproducts of divorce.

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