Congratulate, healing after dating a sociopath have
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Life after dating a psychopath or a narcissist can either be a nightmare or a relief for an individual but either way there are lots of things that have to be sorted out in order to recover and prevent it happening again. There are several factors that need to be considered. First, there is the situation where the victim does not realize that they were dealing with a psychopath and have labeled the partner controlling, jealous, manipulative, abusive and so on. Second is the situation where the psychopath breaks off the relationship and third is where the victim ends the relationship. Life after dating a psychopath can be extremely difficult when a person does not know that their ex-partner was a psychopath.
I sent him a massive text spilling my heart to him. He never replied. He reckons he never got it but he did. I was sad for a long time. I had no choice but to accept and try and get on with my life. And again, it was back on! This time it lasted longer and he ended up asking me to be his girlfriend. He said okay and we kept on sleeping together for a few more weeks. Then I asked him to ask me out formally again. A few weeks later we were in the supermarket and he was being really weird with his phone.
Walking off for long periods of time down the aisles.
I saw him down one of the aisles looking at his phone and I though that was a little odd. So that evening I went through his phone and saw porn pictures, He said his mate had ben sending them to him. He replied it was because he though id find it disgusting!!!
Healing after dating a sociopath
Another time I also looked at a text that came through as he was sleeping one morning and it was from a girl called lara staying that she would be traveling through Geelong soon. I thought this was odd also as I had never heard him speak of a friend called Lara. For some reason I thought he could never be capable of that as he was such a nice solid guy, a leading teacher, captain of a football club, great parents etc. As I had finished my degree I found work in Geelong and moved in with him a few months later.
And this is when the real shit started to happen.
During PTSD after a sociopath, we're likely to look to alcohol, weed or other drugs to handle the shock, overwhelm mind-blowing stress and trauma. Avoid this as much as possible and within reason. Even non-drinkers dive in for a glass or three of wine or vodka in the months of PTSD after a sociopath. Life after dating a psychopath or a narcissist can either be a nightmare or a relief for an individual but either way there are lots of things that have to be sorted out in order to recover and prevent it happening again. There are several factors that need to be considered.
I remember finding condoms in his jeans one day and he told me after some questioning hat he had been sleeping really briefly with a girl from his work that had left now and moved away. This was actually true and it clicked as to why he had broken it off with me so many times.
However he said that it was nothing and he had chosen to be with me and so that was enough for me, as I felt happy that he had chosen to be with me and that finally he was ready to commit and that he was committing with me I must have been better and special! One night, in the middle of the night he woke me up to tell me something the fact that he had woken me up in the middle of the night was strange enough for me as he was always a solid sleeper that hated being woken up.
I questioned what they said and he just shrugged it off saying it was sexual stuff. Anyway I said that next time he got one he should phone the police or go to phone company. By that morning I had sort of forgotten the conversation, I assumed he would let me know if anything weird happened again. I never thought about how his mates could have got his credit card details to sign him up!
His reaction was the complete opposite to what I expected and very strange. This reaction is what started me snooping further and further.
One night when he was sleeping I went through his phone. I found msgs from random girls that were sexual and sleazy.
I said nothing to him. She told me that for the past 12 months he had been visiting her. She came to the conclusion it was just for sex as he never stayed long and always had some excuse to leave after and hour or 2. He had given himself a different name and job. She was speaking the truth. He never took her on dates either. It seemed to be just sex. However she did say that he did invite her to come and stay weekends in Geelong -but that obviously never happened because his housemates and I were there!
When I confronted him the next day he completely denied it. He said it was a psych ex girlfriend. It took him 2 days and fighting through the day and night to admit it!
When he admitted it I called his parents and my parents. I thought that he needed help. I wanted to help him.
I thought that it be easy to fix and that I could help him. He cried a lot. I think they actually acted a bit desensitized. Maybe they were shocked too? More tried to support him and sucked up I guess. I felt sorry for him. I was angry and so hurt. I went overseas with my friend. I had to get away. When I got back to the UK I dreaded it because it meant that I was able to check up again because my phone worked.
It was like a weight had been put back onto my shoulders. I got a text from him straight away and my heart sunk. Whilst in Europe he sent me a photo.
In the background was an Internet chord going to the Internet modem. Maybe he did and he was still testing me? I questioned whether he had turned the Internet back and he gave me some bullshit story that was completely irrational and again not logical! For someone that seemed so smart he gave silly reasons and excuses, which always gave him away! Over the 8 years that followed every 6 months at most I would find stuff on his phone or computer.
He had different online dating accounts and different names. He said he never met any of them but he would have met a few. He even had a different sims for his phone. I smashed his phone multiple times in anger to which made him furious.
Of course I questioned everything and this made him angry. He was unhappy because I was forever questioning where he was, what he was doing, why this, why that, ananylsing everything. He thought it was ridiculous. He went to see a therapist after I nagged him, but only went to the 5 free ones and when I asked what he had spoken to the therapist about he would tell me that they spoke about stuff other than his problem? In the 8 years though we had great times together and I thought he genuinely did love me despite his issues.
One reason for this was that he never actually left me. I think that he did have some respect for me in his own way. Not to blow my own trumpet but I think I am attractive, fit, enjoy exercising, love surfing, travelling, I am a leading teacher and am really social. We also travelled to different countries together heaps, he made me a kayak, we went hiking together, kayaking, he made me presents and I bought a house which he helped me renovate however looking back he complained about the work, never said how proud he was off me for the achievement and everything was made into a fight.
Although I was paranoid about him taking his phone to the bathroom which he used to get angry about. That reminds me, after probably the 5th time I found out stuff I stopped having sex with him. Sometimes when I initiated he would say no anyway-although this could have been a control thing. Over the 8 years I threatened to move out heaps, even looked for new places. He did too, but neither of use ever left. If after a fight, which usually ended with him packing his bags and driving off for a few hours, I would always beg for him to come back and he always did.
However he was good at holding a grudge and outing it back onto me being angry with him all the time doh! What do you expect?
Sociopath Relationships Will Never Last
He used to say that he stayed because he wanted us to work. When I asked if he would cheat again, the first few times sounds crazy typing this now! I moved out in August I never wanted to give up on him but I realized that I had to because things were not getting better. I think my inner strength finally came through. We stayed in contact and caught up for dinners etc.
We decided just to see if we could work again but if there were any signs of us fighting etc. Come to think of it he used to say that if he had an argument with a girlfriend then that would out him back another year in proposing to them! In NovemberI asked him to come to Europe with me, I thought this would finally make us stronger. He could see where I was from in the UK, we could have a great time together etc. It would heal us. He said no to start with and pretty much had to twist his arm to come then he said yes because he wanted us to work etc etc.
Why did he need to text her about things all the time? He said he was being friendly to her because she was collecting his mail! Even though she knew he was with me, he never mentioned me in any of the texts. Halfway onto the trip I found old msgs on his phone from 2 months before.
He had sent pics of his semen to a girl, again he called himself a different name and he called her mistress!!! We had come on this trip and two months before he had been doing that shit again. I hope you are smiling, Chris his real name is Steve! When i finally calmed down I asked him how I could help him. I asked him later on when we got back what would have happened if I had agreed and made plans to move back in. He said that he would have not let it happen and he would have told me not to move back in.
Hmmmmmm I wonder when? Following this, our last country of the trip was the UK. He randomly out of the blue told me that he loved me. I was so surprised as he rarely ever dais it even when we were properly together. I was shocked and it made me feel good. Even on the plane trip back he was talking about us potentially moving to QLD and he even started looking at places to buy with me at the airport.
When we got back to Australia we had a few more catch ups and decided to give it until May this year to see how we go. I asked how I could help him to not go online again. He reckons that he had to set up an environment in the house where he was only allowed to use the internet for work and work only and that would help him. I thought to myself. I also still felt uncomfortable about him texting his married female friend and we had a few more arguments over this.
He thought I was being ridiculous. I was the one instigating most of the dates and catch-ups and there was no sex however sometimes he would instigate calls and texts and dates with me.
Dating after dating a sociopath is a serious undertaking. You may not like hearing this, but here's the thing: Don't even think about dating for a year after an entanglement with a sociopath. Sociopaths, users, and narcissists alike can smell the scent of our vulnerability a zillion miles away. Recovery and healing! A guide for healing and recovery When the truth comes to light of the crazy life that you have been living with a sociopath, when the lying, cheating, betrayal, deception comes out, you are left feeling massively confused and so very hurt, it is the ultimate betrayal. Jan 10, How To Heal After Breaking Up With A Sociopath keep in mind that everyone has a different path to healing. If yours is paved with TV and hot dates with Ben and Jerry long after the "official Author: Marie Noble.
Sometimes he would ask to have a hug before I left. I kept questioning why but he said he had nothing left to say and got angry. Although on my birthday on the 30th of August he sent a one liner email yes email, not a text, very impersonal and cold saying happy birthday.
He even signed out with his work formal signature, not even a person from. It broke my heart again. I had to send him a text the other day about getting our bond money back. It killed me that I had to send it, as I had had no contact for a record number of times. It took him 24 hrs. Is it because he was with someone else already?
He is doing the silent treatment. After 8 years of loyalty, fun times, experiences, buying a house, travel, births, deaths and marriages he has dropped me like a piece of rubbish. In my head I am thinking: I am paranoid that he has already moved on after everything we did and had and that he has forgotten me.
Is his behavior just the natural break up process? He has a good family, great leading teacher job, captain of a football team, great friends so why is he like this? Did he do this to his ex? Is he a sociopath or do I just need an excuse for what he has done? Sorry for how long this post is, but I had to write down everything to get an accurate picture out there so that I could get the best response. What do you guys think? I am sorry about your experience.
Many cts of it sound similar to mine. I hope you are on the road to recovery and healing. I truly am blown away by this woman who has fooled me for four years. I do not like who I have become. I looked at her email and texting and found what I suspected. One man who she professes as just a friend at work. So so so many more things to share but you all know the score.
It has been only two days with no contact by either after another blowout. The night prior we had bbq and had nice evening in all cts. Following day she said going away for Friday night with woman from work to fair. So i said let me know by am if you would like to have lunch. I will be in area.
I got text saying just have time to run n grab something so no to lunch. So i called twice. Blank look. Major blowout. She said if i dont want her to have her friend she will comply. I said good byeyou made your choice. And i mean it. Thanks for all of your input folks. Hello there. Just learning about all this and recently left by a soc I have been with for nearly 8 years. It has been a hell of a shock and learning experience.
I stumbled on to sites that gave me info on this behavior and this site explained things to a tee as others have said it all seems like a dream at some points. So harsh and unrealistic. I did not know people were like this. I was so in love with her and she walked and immediately got with another man like it was nothing. Of course she lied about him for weeks till I uncovered the truth and then she was so cold and uncaring and lied more.
Luckly no children and we never got married. I think that was god looking out for me. She definitely used the sex thing in the relationship and even after all this to try and keep me around. I found the info on the female soc to be exactly how she is and very informative. I am sorry you are hurting. You can heal and recover and go on to build a much better life for yourself. Revenge, is living a good life - despite meeting her. Thank you. I keep finding more out not. So much comes to light and now I thing about all the guys she has been seeing while I was so in love and blinded.
I know it happens to people all the time but it just hurts so deep inside. I found out about old friends of mine she hunted down and got with. It makes me sick. I dated a SP for 4 years off and on. It was a nightmare and I could not get away from him. It finally came to an end in Jan of when I was able to fully sever ties. I was a total wreck!! But, I learned a lot about myself and him and eventually got over it.
Something like that would not happen to me again. I enjoyed being single for 3 years. Had hobbies and interests and a few really close friends. After a while I decided I was ready to pursue love. I met someone from an online dating site. He had a lot of the same interests as me posted on his page. After talking online for about 2 weeks we took it offline and talked on the phone. Then we decided to have a first date.
I tell you whatthat first date was magical. The chemistry was there! He was so interesting, charming, and seemed so in to me. We hit it off beautifully. We had a lot in common. I told him about my past a bit. He told me his. This is where the mirroring started He knew I was guarded and still getting a read on him. Let me in. After a while, I let my guard down more and let him in.
For a while things were amazing. He bragged about me to his family and friends. Everyone knew about me. He was head over heels in love with me. I met his family and they loved me. I loved them all too! It was going so perfectly. I thought I had found The One. I thought wow, you exist! Butdeep down inside I saw warning signs.
I made a mental catalog of them and still went forward in the relationship, giving him the benefit of the doubt. At the time he was 33 years old, and living at home with mom and dad. He had moved back to this state after his marriage ended. It had been about 6 months since the divorce was finalized. Of course, it was all her fault. He was the victim I asked him if he was sure he was ready to be in a relationship, and of course he said he was.
I figured, wellwho am I to judge. I had to start over before too. I understood where he was at in life and trying to get on his feet. Over several months, I saw the sweet, funny, charismatic person downspiral into depression.
He was not having luck getting a job. He became moody. Like Jeckyl and Hyde. I tolerated it and encouraged him anyway. He spent a LOT of time at the bar, getting drunk, driving home drunk, showing up at my house in the middle of the night drunk, calling me for a ride, sleeping at a friends place. I had a problem with this. He knew it too, but kept on going out. We went on a hiking trip in the spring and that is where I saw the real him come out.
He straight turned on me. It was UGLY! That hurt. He said mean things and told me something he had done in the past so horrible that any normal person would RUN. When we got back home, we talked and talked for hours and smoothed everything over.
And everything was perfect again. For a while But as the months went by he got meaner. He did get a job,a good job. It was their fault and his boss was intimidated by him And still got drunk a lot. After the job loss, the downward spiral seemed to go faster and faster.
He got more verbally abusive and physically aggressive with me. I called the cops on him and filed a report. Nope Everything was always MY fault. He never did any wrong. Never took responsibility for the things he said and how it affected me or anyone for that matter. As time went by we were on and off. He always came back and I took him back. If he just got a job, things would be better.
Fast forward to now. I see it. All of it. He hated being questioned and was very evasive and secretive. Always blamed me and everyone else for his lot in life. And oh man. I absolutely loved him. But the realization of who he really is hit me a few days ago. It all clicked. This website is soooo helpful.
I hate that others have dealt and are dealing with this same thing. I have a lot more healing to do. I decided to goggle compulsive lying and found this website. I however have seen right thru the lies from the beginning.
He is such a sweet and caring person that you would never know he has these issues.
I just recently found out that he has received mental health treatment in the past and been on medications. This alone does not make him a sociopath, as many people suffer from mental illness. The one thing I did not see addressed on this website is what if any treatment is there for a sociopath and can their behavior be changed with medication? Does anyone out there know if this is a treatable condition? Also look at borderline personality disorder or bpd.
There is no treatment for a sociopath that works there is treatment for bpd. Hi Positivagirl and all hope your all well. I wrote here before and you have helped so much just wondering if you could help again. Guess I just wanted to know is this normal? Any advice, help please x. Stop letting the gas lighting and bullshit control that he had over you, still continue.
Be thankful that he has left your life and is somewhere else missing up his life and someone else. No matter how much maulipation someone does, it will catch up with them. They continue to abuse and take advantage of the victim often without the formal commitment of a boyfriend-girlfriend relationship. Victims of psychopaths may have been thinking of leaving for years but simply have not been able to do it.
See the section on dependency above! At some point something happens and the victim decides that they have to get out, it's time to leave. The psychopath often knows that their victim is changing and that they are losing control so the first thing the psychopath does is to make friends again with the victim.
This makes it difficult for the victim to actually leave because they have renewed hope that their partner is changing and maybe now they can make it work. This cycle may last for years. Eventually the victim leaves but the psychopath is not going to have someone else tell them what they can or can't do so they try all sorts of things to get the victim back.
If a person does not realize their partner is a psychopath, these tactics often work. The psychopath or narcissist spends so much time chasing the victim that they literally wear the person down and the person gives in and goes back and suffers all over again. If the person does know they are dealing with a psychopath, the early part of life after dating a psychopath can be very difficult.
Dating After A Sociopath Getting over a relationship and/or marriage with a Narcissist, Sociopath is a wonderful countryconnectionsqatar.com yes, it is an achievement! However, it's not much of an achievement if you stay inside watching Netflix all weekend. Jan 27, Mental health professionals share strategies for healing after ending a relationship with a narcissist, a sociopath, or a combination of both. Healing is something we must purposefully pursue. We need the support of others after this trauma, but many of us find that support is hard to come by. Many people in our lives (friends, family, and even many therapists) don't understand psychopathy, so they may not .
The psychopath may try all sorts of things to get them back, promising the sun, moon and stars, accepting responsibility for the breakup, blaming the victim for the breakup, saying the victim will never find anyone to love them the way the psychopath did, threatening the victim, threatening suicide and so on.
The person knows they have to get out, but all the emotional manipulation by the psychopaths and narcissists still makes it very difficult to stay out.
The programming of the pseudopersonality is still very strong and the person may think, "What if I am making a mistake? But the programming is very strong and this is easier said than done for the victim.
When they have got some distance from the abuser, things get a bit easier for the victims but still all the difficulties of having the manipulator in their head all the time along with the dependency has to be dealt with. The relationship has formally finished, the psychopath or narcissist may or may not be still trying to get back into your life but you are clear that you want no more to do with them, you just want to carry on.
Unfortunately that pseudopersonality you have was put in place with such strong influence techniques that it does not disappear on it's own. It persists, often for decades unless something is done about it. Some things may disappear over time but all those ideas, beliefs, behaviors and emotions that were imposed upon you are still in place.
In your life after dating a psychopath, the best thing that you can do is to learn about mind controlpsychopaths and narcissists. The more you understand about the details of these things the less the effects of the mind control on you and the more you take back control of your own life.
It's important to learn how you were caught, what techniques were used on you by the psychopath, how these techniques changed your thinking, your emotions and your decisions making, how the manipulator inserted him or herself into your life and how they maintained power and control in the relationship.
Only in this way can you hope to get the abuser out of your head and out of your life. Understanding mind control and influence techniques will mean that you can spot normal, healthy influence situations that are designed with positive benefits in mind and notice when someone is using destructive mind control methods for their own particular selfish ends.
In this way you learn how to spot psychopaths and how to set healthy boundaries in your relationships so that the relationships that you have are balanced and nurturing to both you and those you choose to have around you. All this is best done with an expert in mind control, psychopathy and narcissism. Working with someone experienced in this field will save you a lot of time, money, effort and heartache.
Conversely, working with someone who does not understand mind control often causes more problems. You can read more about how to deal with a sociopath or divorcing a narcissist and healing from emotional abuse. Return to Decision Making Confidence. If you think you are or have been in a cult or a destructive relationship, or a friend or family member might be in a cult and you want to talk to someone, send me a message on the Contact page and we can arrange to talk.
All communication will be treated in the strictest confidence. Find out more Mind Control Manual Vital concepts about mind control, cults and psychopaths Do you think that you might be in an abusive relationship? Are you realizing that the group you are in may be a cult? This manual will give you a different perspective!
What Is Narcissism? A practical guide to protecting yourself Do you think you are being taken advantage of emotionally, physically, sexually or financially in your relationship? Do you want to leave but you can't seem to get away?
Learn how to break free, and why you need to! Tips for dealing with psychopaths and narcissists Fortnightly newsletter with practical tips and ideas Learn more Email Name Then Don't worry - your e-mail address is totally safe. We promise to use it only to send you this newsletter. But not getting noticed? Version 3. Life After Dating A Psychopath Or A Narcissist Life after dating a psychopath or a narcissist can either be a nightmare or a relief for an individual but either way there are lots of things that have to be sorted out in order to recover and prevent it happening again.
You are not stupid. In the final stage, you start to make plans for you. To rebuild your life. You are finding that the good times are outweighing the bad. You realise the damage that has been done to you. Perhaps you are struggling to trust others.
You are looking at what you have learned, and perhaps things within yourself that you want to fix. You start to make plans for your future. Slowly you begin to allow others back into your life. In the final stage, you are not focusing on what happened, or why? You are no longer trying to understand. Your focus is back to you. The final stage can feel slightly liberating. You have learned a lot and have grown. You realise that you want to not make the same mistakes in the future - or at least not date the same mistakes.
You realise that you really do deserve better. For the first time, possibly in all of your life you are protecting you. Looking after you, realising that you really do deserve better. You might be reading this, recently coming out of the relationship and are still in the early stages. The pain might feel overwhelming. The sadness, the emptiness, and the humiliation might leave you feeling absolutely devastated.
You wonder how you can go on - will you ever recover? Focus on you, it is not wrong to be selfish. In fact after an abusive relationship, it is essential you will be so drained you will need all of your energy for you.
You can never fix somebody else, but you can fix you! Reblogged this on Joshua Stone's Bloggy-Blog. Just knowing someone else is going through the same shit as me is helpful. Thank you.
How To Heal After Breaking Up With A Sociopath
Happy New Year Shaz, keep going. It is tough in the beginning. Like quitting a drug. But you can fully heal and recover. You will get over this. Ex sociopath left in September and is having a baby with his newest in March - yeah, you do the math. The pain is excruciating and unrelenting some days.
I have stopped eating and it scares me. Going to therapy but I just want to feel normal again and see light in this black hole. I know that my reply is a year late but Im going through the same thing right now. I felt the same way about my ex in the bedroom.
But, you cant base a relationship on sex. Knowing that just drives the stake in deeper than ever. Her crazy ass even tried to get his ex gf and me together. Dumbest idea ever. His ex and I compared notes. I KNOW that Im much better off without all of her drama in my life but Im still waiting for that dark cloud above my head to go away. Anyone have any insight to shake these blues? Hi been going through and been experiencingall the aboveat the point now where it seems my God mother of 54years?
It would be interesting to see an intersection of the two models. I like to emphasize the word Process and not Stages because I have found that within even one day I revisit the various stages.
It is like sometimes I in and out of different planes of experience. For example, while we may have progressed and physically separated from the sociopath, the addiction and lure continues.
The lure has an ebb and flow to it. I tend to my daughter and myself more. But then when I have some legal matter related to my sociopath, or I go near his environs, or someone mentions something about him and his girlfriend, I get obsessive. I experience veins of the one stage in another stage. This brings up another issue.
What about our own pathology or neurosis? Eg, codependency? Lack of identity? However it is helpful to described our own syndrome during and after the relationship as well as the vulnerabilities the sociopath took advantage of before entering the relationship. Perhaps this is where the Maslow Self Actualization model comes in? When people are operating at the lower levels of the Maslow model, they are more vulnerable to a sociopath. Also, in addition to the addiction model, the sociopathic relationship is cultish.
Cult deprograming and debriefing is something we should learn about too. DRC - actually, I agree that for myself, I projected what I wanted him to be and I refused to see him for who he really is.
Ditto Darling. Yes this interesting DRC. For me it has only happened to me when I was in trauma severely traumatised.
I had of course changed. Am just thinking I dont think so?. I write about childhood having an impact esp with regard to the parents. I do see what you mean about two sides and interaction between two people. When you say how the lure of addiction is stronger at times than others. Did you notice that you also said the times when it is stronger is when you have been given a part of him for whatver reason? Legal, going near his environment, or someone mentions him or his girlfriend this is how addiction works.
The little monster feeds the big monster. Focuses on your weaknesses and how important it is for us to look at those and address those within yourself. For me there was a slight difference. I would say even the real me before could expect others to fix things for me. I think because I was traumatised for me my radar was off. But I still analysed behaviour exactly the same If that makes sense?
Hmmm yeah interesting about cult deprogramming and debriefing. As it is like that for sure. Like being brainwashed. I thought I was healed. But I do because his reactions from the past two times I saw him out. I knew then he knew who I was.
1. Find a support team
Anyway, I watched him out of the corner of my eyes and could see him pointing his finger at my and talking to the other guys that worked at the bar I was at. Which I knew right then and there my spath had been talking shit about me. The shit he did to me.
I mean why would his friend make me feel this way? Because, KJ, his friend is an idiot as well. What goes around comes around, believe me. His friend was pacing at the door which tells me he called him and he was on his way with his new gal.
Thank god I left before that happened. I would of lost it. Everything he did got on my nerves. So confused! This is day 3 without sleep now. He was charming, smart, funny, sweet, life of the party type of person everyone loved to be around.
I was attracted to him but he had a girlfriend who lived three hours away. I told him I would not get involved since he was with someone else. We started spending more time together and I was happy. Other than being raped as a teenager, he is the only guy I have slept with and he was so sweet and considerate about it. He told me he loved me and had never felt this way about anyone else and his feelings were so intense they scared him. I fell in love with him and was so happy.
I got pregnant, it was not planned, and he changed. He tried to force me to have an abortion and then tried to pressure me into adoption. He bailed and I found out he had never broken up with his girlfriend. I also find out he has issues with porn and finding women online for sex. I was still in love and wanted my baby to have his father and foolishly thought he would change and we could work things out even though he was still with the gf.
He then runs hot and cold with me and I never know what kind of mood he will be in from one day to the next. He bails on drs apts and ultrasounds. He informed me his gf would help him raise his baby and proceeds to give me orders about what is going to happen and who will do what when the baby is born. I cut contact with him. When my son is born he shows up at the hospital with his gf. My brother refused to let her in the room. While I am lying in bed after a C-section this jerk tells my mother I owe his gf an apology for fooling around with her man and trying to steal him away.
My mother got in his face and confronted him and asked specific questions. He got this evil sneer on his face and his eyes went wild and the tone of his voice changed. Wow what happened to the charming sweet guy I had been friends with for two years and fell in love with?! He then told me he and his gf would be coming and taking the baby for a few days when we got home.
She has since moved very close to him. I told him no. He showed up at my home and physically threatened me and my mother threw him out.
He hates my mother, has issues with women. Makes smart aleck remarks about his female boss and other women. I tried to tell his gf I was sorry she was hurt and I would have never gotten involved with him but he lied and told me they were through.
They are living the fantasy that they were a loving committed couple and I am the whore that seduced him and tried to break them up. Even though he had multiple flings of cheating on her, this was all MY fault according to them!
And she is now trying to play Mommy with my son to get back at me. He then sued me for custody. We went through three rounds of mediation and one trial. I have appealed the decision because in true sociopath fashion he managed charm the mediator, judge, and his attorney.
My son was nursing every two hours. There was no way he could be away from me overnight nor could I possibly pump more. I was only nursing until he was 1 year old when he could have whole milk and then he could spend the night with his father.
I was told I was going to have to mix breastmilk with formula against drs orders or figure out how to produce more milk! Yet I am the selfish one! And he is the poor mistreated father of the year!
He actually got credit for overpayment of child support for that reason. I can see it in his eyes. I have gone the tenth mile with him and been flexible with visitation. I buy gifts for him and his family from our son for bday, Christmas, fathers day, etc.
But nothing I ever do is good enough. He demands rather than asks for anything. And everything is always my fault and he never takes responsibility for anything, he always turns it around on me. I finally saw the more I did the more he expected and used as an excuse to walk all over me. He has kept our son two hours later on three occasions.
I asked him to respect the parenting plan and he accused me of keeping his son from him. He treats him more like a possession and a trophy. These articles hit so close to home and describe so well and give great advice. I feel so stupid for being duped by him. I would love to read more insight on how to co-parent with a sociopath.
So sorry for what you are going through as well. Thanks for your kinds words. It is so hard to deal with this type of personality. This is the saddest, most terrible story. I am so sorry for your pain and what you are going through. These people are sick. His GF is sick too. I am so sorry xxxx. Hi, its very difficult just where to begin with regard to my story? My storey. I emmigrated to Australia in with my wife and kids.
My wife was beautiful and I know with everything in me she loved me with all my heart as I did her. Unfortunately she suffered terribly with depression which I knew about when we first met but loved her and supported her the best I could have. In Jan she completed suicide which left me in Australia with my two kids, running a business and also studying psychology. I stook it out for well over a year and made many mistakes along the way trying to cope with the grief. I made the descision to return to England to my home town to have the support of family and to make a new start.
I left this town initially when I was 16 to live with my dad. When we first saw each other it was almost electric, she was very beautiful and looked amazing. We chatted and told me she was married, worked in a care home and asked the same of me, so I told her briefly my storey and why I was back.
Everything from there was very full on with messages from both of us and was such a great feeling. It was two weeks later we saw each other again and spoke all day and she later returned that evening. I made no advance in the day but by her returning later on I knew where I stood!
It was amazing and felt incredibly close and that was us. She left her husband and we dated.
Through family I knew her relationship with her ex was violent. She said she never loved him and for the first time in her life she knows what it is to be in love with me. She could never see us arguing or falling out. After a hard marriage on both parts I desperatly wanted to make us work and just love her.
It was in her name for remaining loan as I had been out of the country but I paid the repayments. I bought a house for us all to live in and all seemed sweet but then things started to change.
She had a temper and appeared very aggressive at times and shoved me about a bit then pleaded she was sorry when i bit back! I took her in Feb to New York where we got engaged crazy I know but even when we was there I was excited by what I saw but without her saying too much I never got a sense of appreciation?
After we returned it got very bad. My kids bear in mind had been through a hell of a lot where basically put through hell by her and her own!
She threw her ring and said she was leaving. Back to her marital home but ex had gone. I still stayed with her and tried working things out but in April after a birthday weekend for her it all kicked off again.
Anyway she sold the car because it was in her name and bought another new one. I lost by this point but it was hers and nver did show any remorse.
She then said losing me she has lost her everything and said she was depressed knowing its a subject close to my heart. I took her back. I also found out at this point she was messaging other guys via network site and was very flirty indeed! Anyway I took her backwent on holiday to Egypt where she nothing short of bullied my daughter aged 8.
I stood up to her and that was it again! Over but no, she played me again.
Absurdity what that25.03.2020|Reply