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When my now married daughters were teenagers, I honed it further for sharing and discussion with them and the young men who asked to date them. We found that this was a great help not only to our daughters but also to the young men who wanted to date them. This deepened our relationship, opened communication and created healthy accountability. Though there were sometimes nervous jitters as family members and especially the young men anticipated these sessions, in each case the time together was strategic, encouraging and rewarding. Having consistently practiced this when they were dating, it was impossible for us and for our daughters to imagine them dating a young man without first openly addressing with him all the principles that follow. Each time we did this, of course, it further reinforced these principles for our daughters and for us.

Inside marriage, sex has great power for good. Outside marriage it has equally great power for bad. Sex and marriage go together. Sexual union is intended as an expression of a lifelong commitmenta symbol of the spiritual union that exists only within the unconditional commitment of marriage.

Apart from marriage, the lasting commitment is absent and the sex act becomes a false expression, a lie. Every act of sex outside of marriage cheapens both sex and marriage.

Sex is a privilege inseparable from the responsibilities of the sacred marriage covenant. Sex is designed to be the joining of two persons, of two spirits, not just two bodies. Who may stand in his holy place? He who has clean hands and a pure heart. Sexual purity is inseparable from a committed Christian life. If you are not living in sexual purity, God will not hear your other prayers until you offer the prayer of confession and repentance and commit yourself to a life of holiness 1 John The evil one wants to take you down and to use your life as a bad example to other Christians, who will imitate your moral compromise.

God requires that we be holy and pure instruments to be used by him 2 Timothy More Christians-including Christian leaders-become useless and are lost to serving Christ due to sexual immorality than anything else. These evil beings have vested interests in your moral collapse. They will do everything in their power to strike out at Christ and his church through enticing you into immorality.

Satan is neither omnipresent nor omnipotent-there are only so many demons and none of them can be two places at once. Therefore, fallen angels attack and tempt not indiscriminately but with strategic purpose. Satan does not have to waste his time on those who have already made the biggest messes of their lives. Rather, he specially targets those whose fall would have the greatest negative effect on the kingdom of God.

The devil wants to derail you from serving God. He wants you imprisoned to sin. God wants you free. His aim is deadly, he excels at tailor-made temptations, and it is at our points of greatest vulnerability that he will attack. As powerful as the evil one is to tempt us, God is infinitely more powerful to deliver us and has given us in Christ all the resources we need to live godly lives:.

His divine power has given us everything we need for life and godliness through our knowledge of him who called us by his own glory and goodness. Through these he has given us his very great and precious promises, so that through them you may participate in the divine nature and escape the corruption in the world caused by evil desires. Then I break it in half, throw it to the floor and stomp on it. Suddenly it changes everything, because if it belongs to me, then and only then do I have the right to do with it as I please.

If it belongs to someone else, I have no such right. When you came to Christ, when you affirmed him as Lord of your life, you surrendered your entire self, including your body, to God. The title to your life was transferred from you to God. Christ owns you and your body. You are bought and paid for. He paid the ultimate price for it. What price? The shed blood of God Almighty!

Jan 28,   Guidelines for Sexual Purity. our daughter and the boy) and made sure there was complete agreement, we didn't allow a dating relationship to begin. We found that this was a great help not only to our daughters but also to the young men who wanted to date them. is like putting a book at the corner of a table and praying "God please. Read How to Date with Holiness, Honor, and Humility by Kristen Wetherell and be encouraged in your relationships and walk with Christ! You see, there Author: Kristen Wetherell. Purity while dating - Want to meet eligible single woman who share your zest for life? Indeed, for those who've tried and failed to find the right man offline, online dating can provide. How to get a good man. It is not easy for women to find a good man, and to be honest it is not easy for a man to find a good woman. Find single woman in the US with rapport.

We are his both by virtue of his creation and his redemption. God has every right to tell me what to do with my mind and body.

I have no right to do whatever I want with what belongs to God. You will inevitably adopt the morality of the programs, movies, books, magazines, music, Internet sites and conversations you participate in.

The cognitive is basic to the behavioral-you become what you choose to feed your mind on. Sow a habit, reap a character. Sow a character, reap a destiny. Your future can be accurately predicted by what you allow your mind to dwell on.

In first century Corinth there were prostitutes all over the streets, but when you entered your home you had a sanctuary from the temptation. We live in a technological Corinth, where immorality can come into the privacy of our home through airwaves television and modems the Internet. Most of us are only a few pushbuttons away from sexual immorality of the mind. Every choice we make to view and contemplate immorality desensitizes us to its evil. Actions, habits, character and destiny all start with a thought, and thoughts are fostered by what we choose to take into our minds.

Therefore we should take extreme care about what we feed our minds on. If someone wants to pollute water, he pollutes it at its source. If he wants to purify water, he purifies it at its source.

Our thoughts are the source of our lives. All our lives flow from our mind, and through the choices we make every day we program our minds, either for godliness or ungodliness. Our minds are not a vacuum-they will be filled with something. We also must fill our minds with good thoughts that crowd out and combat the bad ones. We must also choose to think about the good. Time in the Word, in prayer, and in conversations with Christ-centered friends reinforces our commitment to purity.

Be careful what you expose your mind to. If you do, your resistance will break down. Your body will go where your mind allows it to.

When it comes to your sexual purity, the ultimate battle is in your mind.

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By putting himself close to the freeway, he subjects himself to unnecessary temptation to act on his impulses, disobey and put himself in grave danger. Caressing each other in sexually stimulating ways is foreplay, and foreplay is designed by God to culminate in sexual intercourse. Since intercourse is forbidden outside marriage, so is foreplay. Since sexual intercourse before marriage is wrong, it is also wrong to engage in activity that propels mind and body toward sexual intercourse.

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There is a continuum of physical contact that begins with things like sitting close and hand-holding on the near side and moves to sexual intercourse on the far side. In between might be an arm around the shoulder, a brief hug, a kiss on the cheek, a kiss on the mouth, a longer hug, prolonged kissing, fondling, etc.

If one of you begins to be stimulated even by an apparently innocent physical contact, then both of you should back off immediately. If you want a different outcome, you must make different choices. Guys are more quickly and easily stimulated than girls. Again, make sure you draw the line far enough back that neither of you crosses it. Once you let your body cross the line, it will neither know nor care about your Christian convictions.

No matter how fervently you pray that you will not fall into immorality, you will fall if you continue to make choices that feed your temptation toward immorality.

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If you have sexual intimacy with someone outside marriage, you are stealing from God and the other person. Since he or she belongs to God, not you, that means you are borrowing this person for the evening. God has your best interests in mind when he tells you not to have premarital sex. Sex is not just something you do-sex is someone you are.

It is linked to the welfare of your whole person. Having sex outside of marriage is self-destructive in every sense. Sexual purity is always for the best-not only for God and others, but for you. God would not tell you to abstain from impurity if it was impossible to obey him.

Pursuing purity may be one of the hardest things you face in your dating relationship, but it is also one of the most rewarding. Be encouraged because it is possible and you can do it! God wants. Purity While Dating your friend's mom in 7 simple steps. United States. Please tell us what kind of problems or errors you had during your stay on our website. We apologize for any inconvenience and we Purity While Dating will do our best to fix / May 13,   If you do choose to date, the following guidelines can help you maintain a walk with God and guard your purity. (What follows is an abridged version of "Guidelines for Protecting Purity in Dating," available at "Guidelines for Sexual Purity.") 2. If you're a Christian, only date Christians. You won't marry every person you date.

God is not cruel. Sex is something everyone can abstain from-it is a strong desire, yes, but never an emergency, never a necessity. Christ has given us the resources to resist every temptation:. You do not have to watch that movie. You can turn it off, walk out, go in the other room. Satan is an expert at telling lies, and he tells them smoothly and convincingly.

Many young people end up angry and bitter at themselves and others because they bought the lie, the relationship is ruined and now they are paying the price.

About Randy Alcorn

Satan is a liar, but Jesus is the truth and the truth-teller John Identify and meditate on the truths Christ tells you. Identify and reject the lies Satan tells you. Good or bad, you will always reap what you sow-you will always harvest the consequences of your choices.

Avoiding Impurity

A man reaps what he sows. The one who sows to please his sinful nature, from that nature will reap destruction; the one who sows to please the Spirit, from the Spirit will reap eternal life.

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Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up. Likewise, God has set up spiritual laws that govern the universe, including laws concerning our sexual behavior.

If we break his commandments, ultimately we get broken. Scripture teaches two basic alternatives in life, the way of God and the way of men, the way of holiness and the way of sin. Proverbs speaks of the path of wisdom and the path of foolishness, and calls upon us to make right choices, which are also wise, and avoid wrong choices, which are also foolish. After laying out the blessings of obedience and the curses of disobedience, God said.

The lifelong consequences of sexual impurity are worse than we can imagine. The lifelong rewards of sexual purity are greater than we can imagine. Much sexual temptation today is created by our social practice of coupling and isolating young people instead of doing what the Hebrew culture and many others have done-requiring that single people spend time together only in a context supervised by parents and other adults.

This structure of direct parental involvement and carefully overseen courtship has been the normal social structure; it is ours that is abnormal. This is especially true in a culture that distorts teen sex, making it look romantic and healthy, when in fact it is usually unfulfilling, often emotionally devastating, and always morally wrong.

Many people think that to be normal you have to date. With the upside comes the downside of definite risks and temptations. You can enjoy fun positive friendships with people of the opposite sex and be involved in all sorts of activities without coupling up with one person.

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If you do choose to date, the following guidelines can help you maintain a walk with God and guard your purity. Dating is the path to marriage. You will not marry every person you date. But the person you marry will be someone you dated. Therefore every date is a potential mate. The closer the relationship the greater the danger.

Far too much is at risk. If that seems an unfair comparison to dating an unbeliever, reread 2 Corinthians More young men and women are derailed from their walk with Christ by dating nonbelievers than anything else. The longer you allow a relationship to go on with a nonbeliever, the more cloudy your judgment will become and the more likely you will commit immorality and turn your back on the Lord in other ways.

Convictions waver when we place ourselves in the realm of temptation. There is only one way to be sure you do not marry an unbeliever: never date an unbeliever. It is necessary to date only Christians, but it is not sufficient.

Many Christians lack moral fiber, convictions, maturity, and discipline. But do expect character and godliness. This assumes that you yourself are a growing Christian, that you are developing a strong character and strong convictions.

The first key is being the right person, the second key is dating the right person.

opinion you are

Man looks at the outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart. Appearances change over time. But even in the short-run, a person who looks great at first glance but who lacks character and depth quickly becomes less attractive.

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A person with strong character quickly becomes more attractive. When we judge people by their appearances, often we turn out to be dead wrong-and meanwhile we may have made foolish choices.

Realize Christ is watching and is with you all evening-wherever you go and whatever you do. He is watching you because he is omniscient. Shall I then take the members of Christ and join them to a prostitute or anyone else in an immoral action? But do expect character and godliness. This assumes that you yourself are a growing Christian. When we judge people by their appearances, often we turn out to be dead wrong-and meanwhile we may have made foolish choices.

Realize Christ is watching and is with you all evening-wherever you go and whatever you do. He is watching you because he is omniscient.

Purity while dating

When we put ourselves in a godly atmosphere with godly people, we are influenced toward godliness. When we put ourselves in an ungodly atmosphere with ungodly people we are influenced toward ungodliness.

If a Christ-centered, positive relationship develops, then you might move to cautious displays of affection such as hand-holding. But be alert to the difference between appropriate affection and intimacy. You must stay safely back from the line where either one is propelled toward sexual intimacy. Treat your date as a subject to listen to and understand and appreciate, not an object to experiment with, conquer or satisfy your desires. Pace your relationship. A car moving too fast is likely to swerve out of control when it hits a slick spot.

express gratitude for

Keep your foot near the brake. Gaps always get filled, often with temptations to sexual impurity. Setups include such things as being alone on a couch or in a car late at night or in a bedroom. This should be a committed brother or sister in Christ, usually the same gender as you. It should be someone who takes sexual purity seriously, someone with wise advice, who will pray for you and help hold you accountable to high standards.

Commit the evening or day in advance to the Lord. Ask Him to be pleased in everything you do. Plan to pray at the end of the date to thank Him for it. Knowing this prayer is coming will help you to be sure to control yourself and please God.

Imagine your parents and church leaders are watching you through the window. Would that change how you behave?

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